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ААААААААААА!!!!!!!!!!!

такое дело: через три часа начнется концерт radiohead'a в филадельфии. меня уже с утра распирает от Щастья, не могу поверить, что снова их увижу.

'cause i'm not here
this isn't happening
thom yorke

"good afternoon my sweet russian raver", that's what he wrote to me the next day. let's go back a little and see how this amazing rave went.

well, first of all, we knew about this annual thing, like an open-air on memorial day weekend, but last year $40 for a ticket seemed a little too much. i guess we became richer this year, because it didn't prevent us from going. brian joined us, and we organised a little pre-party in our house, the major event of which was wine-drinking. deliciously cold and refreshing, it gave us three a pleasant buzz, so that we started feeling on the wavelength of an anormous many-hour outdoor party. a rave!

while we were peacefully emptying our bottle of pinot grigio, an unlucky neighbor was killed on our block. we literally heard gunshots, and saw that the police cars arrived. we found it a little disturbing, but got into our cab nevertheless, and off we went, to a mind-blowing party. the cab driver was italian and mad funny, he taught us how to say "arivederci" and almost joined us to the rave, but remembered he was a cab driver after all and had to work.

we started getting rrrrrrreally excited when we saw the amounts of people trying to get in and heard sounds of trance that make every partygoer crazy. the female security guard checked my bag for like...5 minutes before letting me in, but strangely enough did not find my camera, which i heard i was not allowed to bring.

it is now $40 less in our pockets, but we are happy withthis type of happiness that only true ravers know. the three of us make our way to the bar - yes, this time all of us are 21, so, no worries - and get ourselves vodka, Russian style, in shots with wedges of lemon. strangely enough, there are not too many people at the bar. probably, they are all doing drugs instead. which makes us want some, too. luckily, brian says we can rely on him in that ^_^

so, we are doing what people always do at raves: roaming through dance-floors, dancing, screaming, jumping around like crazy and what not. i lost julie and brian a couple of times, then found them again. light, sound, glowsticks, pink-haired girls and gay guys carrying stuffed animals around - that all mixed in one blur of excitement. happy faces were all around, which is where the drug topic comes up again. so, obviously, the majority of people were on xtc, or acid, or some pills, you name it. chemical happiness spread around the whole place. i found an 18-year-old-looking guy on acid sitting on the steps in what looked like a bad trip. i talked to him about drum'n'bass, kissed his pierced eyebrow and moved on. it made me happy to see him jumping around in a couple of hours, with pupils larger than i've ever seen.

as usual, drum'n'bass dancefloor was my favourite, and i nearly went insane when dieselboy started his set. cameras were strictly prohibited at the event, but i had my digital friend anyways. so i got as close to diesel as i could and took some amazing pics.
meanwhile, i found my friends julie and brian, and they were strangely different from the last time i saw them (which was not more than an hour ago). "hmmmm," i thoight, "what can it possibly be?" brian disappeared again, and brought back something that looked like three little pills that we ate right there, in the middle of the dancefloor.

pretty soon reality started to shift, bringing strange visions and transforming people around in a weird slow-motion animation clips. thank you brian! although we never found out what exactly we took, it felt good. after all, this is what matters.
the mirror in the bathroom soon afterwards reflected an excessively happy face of mine! i smiled at it, 'cause it looked kind of funny, and continued exploring six areas of music and craziness.

i thought this rave could use more trance, 'cause isn't it the kind of music you want to hear when you are on drugs? mind-blowing, conscience-expanding, hallucinatory, glowing. drum'n'bass was as good as always. dara, AK1200 and dieselboy made d'n'b lovers move non-stop for many hours. mc's were a little annoying, with their usual "make some motherfucking noise!" breakbit dancefloor was way too fast, probably ok only for those on speeds. and maybe bottled water was a bit overpriced ($4!!!), but pills and alcohol compensated. plus, once you became a proud owner of a plastic water bottle, you became eligible for numerous refills at the fountain lounge, where up to 20 dehydrated ravers at a time waited for their bottles to fill with refreshing water dispensed from the fountain. joyfull splashing accompanied the process. how can anybody not be happy in such a friendly setting?!

what was especially nice about this party was that it had a huuuuuge outdoor area. i started to appreciate this fact after three or four hours of mayhem when i finally noticed the first signs of exhaustion, and the wonderland of pills began to slowly fade as sunrise  was nearing. so, in a weird, dreamy state of mind i went outside where the music was quieter and the surroundings - more real. i sat down on the ground, amidst trash and plastic bottles and fellow-ravers. my head was empty, i noticed nothing except for the fact that it was gradually getting lighter. later on i found myself involved in a conversation with a beautiful boy, whose large pupils made his earlier mdma consumption an obvious fact. the conversation wasn't too meaningful, and soon turned into a make-out session...
what else can one wish from a rave? in the end both of us, happy and smiling, witnessed the oficial ending of the party - the acid sunrise. and then it was 6 am. after two hours of romantic ravers' happiness, we parted. he went to an afterparty to take some more pills, and i just headed home.

bright early morning sun (or maybe some chemicals that were still in my blood!) made everything look strangely beautiful. there was almost no traffic, and the streets were empty. at that point i was absolutely happy! walking home, all by myself, in the sunlight, with the remainder of energy from that night of craziness. i'm sure this is a feeling that only we, ravers, know!

ready.
let's go.
boards of canada




so... i'm getting started on this thursday afternoon. it feels like summer, and i walked the city streets all morning. with no particular plan, i changed directions chaotically, paused occasionally to look at the sky or take a picture or sit on a bench or get a coffee. it feels nice when you know that the day is all yours, you get up when you feel like it and kill time because it's amusing. i smile to myself, and i'm glad nobody can see me smiling. i know i need to do laundry, and there is this article i still haven't finished yet, but what if all i want is to climb some random rooftop and get some suntan already?!